Plush Rump Pile
by RageFairy
Summary: In which Jake comes home to a surprise in his room. M for safety. My friend didn't believe me when I told her this was my account, and to write a Dirk/Jake to prove it. It's pretty much crap, but go ahead and read it if you want.


So I'm writing this to prove to my friend that it's really my account and I really did write the other story she read. Dirk/Jake All character rights to Hussie

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Jake truged through his front door and fell into a sitting position on the floor. It had been a long day of adventuring and he needed a brake. Pulling off his worn leather boots he sighed. No need for those at home. His socks followed shortly after and he noted that he needed to buy some new ones, as the epic adventures had taken their toll on the once-white fabric and ripped a hole rigth where his big toe should be.

Carelessly throwing the socks to the side he started down the short hallway to his room. He paused momentarily in front of the bathroom door, wondering if he should shower before laying down. Deciding against it, because he would just wash the sheets later anyway, he continued the two steps to his room. Odd, the door was shut. He always left the them open to circulate air.

Cautiously, he put his left hand on the door and his right on the pistol that was alwasy at his side. In a matter of seconds he through the door open, gun pointed at the intruder inside. Said gun almost fell out of Jake's hand and he sputtered, "D-Dirk?"  
There, before him on his very own bed, was Dirk motherfucking Strider with absolutely no clothes and a pile of smuppets benieth him. "Hey man." Dirk grinned mischieviously, shades still perfectly in place. Jake just stared for a moment before throwing his hands up in the air and yelling.

"WHAT THE BLOODY HELL ARE YOU DOING IN MY ROOM?! I COULD HAVE SHOT YOU! I COULD HAVE KILLED YOU! AND WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS NAKED WHEN YOU LAY IN A PILE OF PLUSH RUMPS?!" He waved his hands around dramaticly as he yelled, the one holding the gun not looking threatening at all. Dirk sat up and casually sat with his feet resting on the floor.

"Because, man, they feel great against the skin." He ran his hand along the pile to punctuate his point. The orange eyes that weren't visible were locked on Jake with the next sentence. "Want to see for yourself?"

Jakes jaw dropped open like he was going to say something, then closed again with a little 'clink' of teeth. Walking over to the nightstand, he soundlessly set down his gun, removed the other from it's holster, and placed it next it's twin. Dirk watched with the same smirk playing on his face from the begining. Jake pulled of his shirt to reviel toned and tan skin, dropping it on the ground and loosening the belt on his shorts. They too, fell to the ground and he stepped out of them, staring at dirk the whole time. His dark green briefs clung tightly to his form as he walked over and stood in front of Dirk.

"I haven't showered yet. I stink and am covered in dry sweat." He looked down, giving fare warning so as not to be blamed if the precious plush rumps got ruined. Dirk smiled and grabbed his hips, pulling him forward to sit on his lap in a stratling position. "Don't worry about it. They're machine washable." With that he leaned in and nipped under Jake's ear, small kisses trailing down his neck to his shoulder where Dirk sucked until it left an "ironic" mark.

"Dirk..." Jake cooed brushing a hand through the spiky platinum hair. One of Dirk's hands slipped away from the dark haired man's hip and slid around back to grab his ass before moving up slightly and dipping fingertips into the back of his undershorts. The blonde removed his shades using the hand left on Jake's hip and set them safely aside. He leaned forward to kiss Jake and take his glasses, setting them in the same place as his own. Jake moaned into the kiss, both hands now gripping tightly to the Strider's shoulders. He pushed his hips forward slightly, finding new discomfort in the tight restrictions of his briefs. Getting the hint, Dirk flipped Jake so that he was lying on his back undernieth him, and pulled off the offending garment. He carelessly threw it behind himself, knowing they weren't going to be needing it anytime soon. Jake wiggled a little at the feeling of being free and looked up at Dirk with evergreen eyes.  
"Make it more than three rounds, and I'll buy you breakfast."

Dirk smirked. "You're on."

***********Several Hours Later*************

"So..." Dirk smiled pulling Jake into his chest so that they could cuddle closer. His eyes traced over Jake's content face, then into eyes that were staring back at him.

"What do you want for breakfast?" Jake asked with an 'I-knew-you-could-do-it' smile on his face. Dirk's mouth fell into a grin and he answered as though he had been waiting to be asked, mostly because he had been ever sense the challenge was made.

"Waffles." Jake grinned.

"Haha, okay." He nuzzled into Dirk's chest and breathed in a familiar sent. "Old Spice? Really Dirk?"

He shrugged a little and dipped his head to rest his mouth against Jake's forehead. "It's ironic." He thought for a moment about something he'd been meaning to bring up. "You know my little bro's been after your cousin for awhile now."  
Jake looked up curiously. "So?"

"So," Dirk regained his mischievous smirk from the begining of the night, "maybe we should help him."

Jake looked at him for a moment, before saying, "John's not a homosexual. But, of course," he leaned up and placed a peck on Dirk's lips then winked, "neither am I."

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Hope you liked it. Hope it made sense to someone other than me. Hope you believe me now, you know who you are!


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